Coconut Harvest

One morning while we were at breakfast, the locals began to harvest the coconut trees in the area. There’s a couple of things I should tell you about Kovalam; first, I would say that 99% of the trees here are coconut. The other 1% are Banana, and they are really not a tree, but thats another story. The other item for discussion is that most buildings with the exception of hotel rooms are all open air spaces. The roofs in the area, with the exception of one hotel (see entry about hotel), are very well built and can withstand both rain and wind for the rainy season. However, most places don’t have four walls. The restaurants will usually have four walls for the kitchen area, but not where the guests sit. Most of the restaurants have ledges that go up between 36 and 48 inches, but that is all. No windows, no doors, nothing (I will be writing soon about what to expect when you visit places like this and the things that can happen). Imagine a pool side bar at one of the large hotels in Las Vegas, open air, no doors, etc. That is what Kovalam is like all over the place. There is really no such thing as locking up. There is nothing to lock up!
So, we are sitting at a place called “The Lonely Planet”, having our breakfast when a few guys come around and begin to harvest the coconuts in the area. The first guy finds the next tree they are going to harvest and walks over to it. Using a small rope of some kind, he tosses the rope around the tree and himself making a loop and begins to climb the tree. He pulls on the rope which keeps him from falling down. Thats it! Nothing else to assist in climbing this tree which can be up to 50-100 feet high. By the way, he is also barefoot and wielding a machete. He “scurries” up the tree, as there really isn’t another way to put it, takes the machete out of his belt and begins hacking at the tree.
Coconuts grow in bundles, and on a good tree there could be 30 coconuts on one bundle, and three or four bundles on the tree at any one time. There is no harvest season, like we have for apples or veggies, as the growing season is year round, so the coconuts grow year round. This means that he doesn’t cut everything off of the tree. One bundle might be ready to go and the other ones are still growing.
When he cuts the bundle from the tree, down the coconuts come. (Einstein proved this would happen but the Indians have known all along!) They don’t place anything down to catch them or to protect anything, they simple let them fall, then go and pick them up. Sometimes the coconuts break away from the bundle and go rolling around. If they fall onto the roofs of homes or restaurants before hitting the ground, the noise can be scary if you don’t know what’s happening.
After the first guy comes down from the tree and looks for the next one, the other guy has a huge burlap sack and he collects the coconuts in the sack and takes them somewhere. I didn’t see where he was taking them, but I know that not only restaurants but many vendors buy them. Here in India, if you want some coconut water, unlike in the states where you need to head to the nearest Whole Foods, a local shop will just pick up a coconut from their little pile, whip out a machete, chop off the top and stick a straw in it for you to drink. (I’m really not kidding here). Then you hand them back the coconut, they cut it in half, and somehow make a small scoop out of some of the husk and hand you back the coconut so you can then eat the white fleshy part. If it wasn’t for the straw it would be completely 100% Bio-Friendly. And they only give Westerners straws. An Indian will just drink the water from the coconut with no straw.
This was actually something I wasn’t going to write about. I was just sitting there eating and watching not only the guys doing the harvest, but the other westerners watching the harvest. Then a thought hit me and I started to laugh out loud for I couldn’t help myself. I am now going to re-write this entry, only explain it from the perspective of being in the United States.
Its now time to harvest some coconuts out of some of the trees in town. We need to imagine that we are taking the coconuts out of trees that are growing throughout a small town as opposed to say a plantation since that’s what was going on in Kovalam.
What would be the first step in doing a coconut harvest? We need to visit City Hall to get a permit to harvest the coconuts. This of course takes, two visits, five forms, and a small fee to accomplish. Great! The city has approved the harvest of the coconuts within town.
We next put an add in the local paper to find two guys that are willing to help out with this harvest. Guys who are not afraid of heights or hard work. We need two people who are strong, but able to work inside trees, so they must also be flexible. Three days go by, and we find two men that should work out for us.
Problem. At least one of these guys is going to need to use a machete. This of course requires another trip to City Hall to get the permit to carry such an object. Yes, the customary two visits, five forms, and a small fee where required. Now we can actually have the machete with us, but the guy using it needs to have a background check done. This is actually three visits, seven forms, a test for mental stability, and a small fee.
The next thing we need is one of those “Cherry Pickers”. OSHA doesn’t allow us the have the guy just climb up into the tree. He needs to be able to use the cherry picker, plus wear a bright orange vest and a construction hat for safety. Of course to use one of those pieces of equipment out in public, we are going to need a permit. Yep, you guessed it, City Hall, 2 visits, 3 forms and a small fee.
Perfect! We have that accomplished. Now, the challenging part is that the person carrying the machete must stay at least 1000 feet from any school, church, shopping mall, convenience store, home, police station, fire department, mosque, temple, city park, hospital, grocery store, hotel, daycare, restaurant, college, zoo, amusement park, racetrack or bar. We have found four trees in town that do not have these limitations.
The permit states that we must zone off the area around the tree that we are harvesting with a circle of 30 feet in diameter. This is just in case a coconut falls astray. Okay, all we need to do is put up some hazard tape, warning people of what we are doing. Thats not to difficult, except that two of the trees are very close to a street, which we will need to block off. Can you guess what’s going to happen? City hall here we come. This time we already have the forms filled out and the check ready so it takes only one visit. However, now we must rent all the road signs that warn motorists of the hazard ahead.
Last but not least, we need to have proof of insurance for the two workers, the machete, the cherry picker, the road signs (in case they get damaged), the road in case a coconut damages it, and for the first insurance company in case they go bankrupt! When all is said and done, we have spent $9827.53, and the 192 coconuts we collected brought in $134.98. God Bless America!